


Just For This Moment

by klaineanummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:03:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaineanummel/pseuds/klaineanummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine and Kurt have been best friends for as long as they can remember. Kurt's been in love with Blaine for almost as long. Blaine has been dating Sebastian for just a little bit longer than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just For This Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal. A fill for [this](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/38839.html?thread=51979703#t51979703) prompt on the GKM

**2020**

Blaine tried not to let out an annoyed sigh as the bed bounced underneath him. He pushed his glasses further up his nose and contemplated getting his iPod. Of course, as soon as he moved to get it her remembered that he had left it in the living room, which would mean walking by Kurt's room. And... Well.

Someone screamed. He winced as he attempted to focus on the words in the book he was reading, but holy hell that guy had a pair of lungs. Where did Kurt even _find_ these guys? He knew for a fact that Kurt hadn't gone clubbing or anything tonight. Actually, he'd just left the apartment only to come back about twenty minutes later with Screamer in tow. 

Blaine didn't stop the annoyed sigh from escaping him as the guy let out a loud yell of “Oh my God,” followed by the bed starting to bounce faster. Sebastian clucked his tongue beside him and dogeared the page in his book. He and Blaine stared at each other for a few seconds, both obviously trying to ignore the loud string of moans and “Yes”s coming from the next room over.

Maybe that could be them. Maybe, for once, they could be the ones taking away Kurt's sleep instead of the other way around. Maybe they could have loud, passionate sex for once. Maybe their bed could be bouncing because Sebastian was riding Blaine into the mattress the way he used to when they were younger.

He was about to say something. He almost said, “Hey, why don't we teach him by doing the same? Won't that just totally kill the mood for him?” but in the end he didn't, because the one time he had suggested that his idea had been immediately shot down. “I'm just not into that, Blaine. You know that.”

Instead he said, “Maybe we should start making ourselves scarce when Kurt brings someone home.”

Sebastian glanced at the wall, then snorted, “Maybe we shouldn't have put our rooms right next to each other.”

Blaine chuckled quietly. Sebastian grinned at him from over his glasses and placed his book on the mattress, “How much longer do you think they'll be?”

“No more than like... five minutes? I'm pretty sure the guy was sucking him off for like half an hour before they actually started... you know,” he waved his hand and Sebastian nodded, a light blush covering his cheeks, “So really, they have to be... close by now. Not even Kurt has that much stamina.”

Sebastian shook his head slightly, “You know, this is ridiculous. We shouldn't be awkward talking about this,” Blaine raised an eyebrow, so Sebastian continued, “I mean, we've been sexually active for longer than Kurt has. We should be able to talk about our best friend coming without blushing.”

Blaine shrugged at that, “Yeah but... I guess it's different. I'm not awkward talking about you and I having sex but with Kurt... I don't know. He's just always...” he trailed off, unsure of how to continue. Sebastian giggled and hid his face, which was probably as beet red as Blaine's. Blaine rolled his eyes, “It's just different, okay?”

There was a loud moan in the next room and then the bed stopped bouncing. Both Blaine and Sebastian struggled for a second to get their footing, Sebastian actually falling off the bed at the sudden end of movement. Blaine laughed, clutching at his stomach. His boyfriend's glare just made him laugh harder. When he did so, Sebastian jumped back on the bed and attacked Blaine, tickling his ribs until Blaine felt like his lungs were going to burst. 

Sebastian chuckled and then leaned down and kissed Blaine softly. Blaine smiled into it and then tried to slip his tongue into the fray. As expected, Sebastian pulled away giving him a chastising look. Blaine looked up at him innocently (or at least what he hoped was innocently) and then gave him another kiss. This time he was the one controlling it, and he was about to roll them over and deepen the kiss when the door slammed open and then closed just as quickly.

They looked up and found Kurt standing there, wearing only a pair of flimsy boxers that Blaine was pretty sure weren't his (Kurt's always fit like a glove, everything Kurt owned fit like a glove). He had his back pressed against the door and looked like he wanted to die.

“Dude, you guys finished like ten seconds ago,” Sebastian snorted, “What are you doing in here?”

Kurt glanced towards the wall, obviously aware of how thin the walls were, and then rushed to their bed, climbing in between them, “He's a cuddler. He like, wrapped his arms around me when we were done. I can't deal with that, not today. So, we're doing the kept boy bit, alright?”

Blaine and Sebastian sighed and rolled their eyes, glancing at each other. Sebastian was the first to give in, he always was, and he slipped under the covers next to Kurt. Blaine eventually did the same, forcing himself not to be annoyed at his friend. He liked Kurt, really he did, but when he got in the way of him and Sebastian possibly breaking their two week long dry spell... Well, honestly he didn't like Kurt very much at the moment.

**2003**

Kurt had been best friends with Blaine for as long as he could remember. And even though he couldn't remember very far, he still knew that Blaine was involved in all of his major memories and that was what was important. 

He also knew that Blaine had very pretty eyes that weren't really brown (his mom said they were brown when he asked, but brown was an ugly colour and Blaine's eyes were anything but ugly) and long, curly hair that he put gel in sometimes which Kurt thought looked really silly, but he never told Blaine that because Blaine was always happy when his dad let him put gel in his hair.

Kurt wasn't really sure what it was about Blaine, but he made him feel nicer than any of his other friends did. Because he really liked spending time with Rachel and Mercedes, but he didn't feel the little tingle in his stomach when they laughed at something he said and he didn't want to hold their hand all the time. He wanted to ask Blaine if he was the same, but he was sorta embarrassed. What if Blaine didn't get those feelings? What if he was strange? He sighed and tried to go back to his homework. 

It was no use. He just couldn't focus on long division when his heart was beating this fast. Maybe he should go see if Blaine was available to play? Because what if he was just worrying about nothing? He let out a deep sigh (one of the ones his dad always called dramatic) and stomped downstairs. His mom was making cookies in the kitchen, and Kurt scrambled onto the chair by the counter. His mom glanced over at him and then frowned. 

“What's the matter sweetie?” she asked, putting down the spatula. She placed a full tray of cookies in the oven and then leaned on the counter so that they were facing each other. Kurt pouted. 

“I have a problem,” he said. His mom raised an eyebrow and then nodded at him to continue. Kurt did, “Well, I have lots of friends, you know? And I like them all a lot. But Blaine makes me feel different than the rest of them.”

She leaned forward a bit more, “What do you mean by different?”

Kurt blew a piece of hair out from in front of his eyes, “When I'm with Blaine my heart starts beating really fast. And I always want to hold his hand and hug him, you know? Because when we hug we fit really well together and he's really warm. But I don't always wanna hug Rachel and Mercedes because even though they're warm we don't fit together the way me and Blaine do.”

His mother stared at him for a few seconds before smiling softly and placing both hands on top of his, “Honey, I think you might like Blaine.”

“Of course I like Blaine,” he replied, “He's my best friend.”

She laughed and nuzzled their noses together, “I mean maybe you like Blaine as more than a friend.”

Kurt bit his lip and looked away, “Do you think maybe Blaine likes me as more than a friend too?”

His mom laughed, which made Kurt pout, “Honey, I think you and Blaine are a little young to be thinking about stuff like that,” he tapped his nose, “Maybe in a few years, if you still feel that way around Blaine, you can tell him how you feel.”

“Okay,” Kurt said happily, already feeling much better, “Thanks mom. You're the best.”

She pulled back at that, frowning, “Since when am I 'mom' huh?”

“I'm too old to call you 'mommy',” Kurt replied, slipping off the chair and hurrying back to his room. He heard her laughing as he walked away, his heart beating a bit faster. He felt better about everything now that he had talked to his mom about it. 

She was probably right. He should definitely wait until he and Blaine were older to tell him about his feelings.

**2020**

The man Kurt had slept with the night before looked eerily like Finn. Like, seriously. It was sort of scary. He would have thought it was Finn if the man hadn't moved with his husband to Chicago six months ago. Blaine and Sebastian watched the stranger wearily as he ambled around the kitchen in just his shirt. Like, seriously just his shirt. Blaine could see a bit of ass. It wasn't a bad ass, it was just... The ass of someone who looked like Finn. And that thought was kind of disturbing.

He and Sebastian shared a look, took deep breaths and then walked into the kitchen together. Blaine schooled his face into a mask of confusion, “Hello,” he said slowly. The man jumped slightly and turned around, his eyes wide, “Is there a reason you're in our kitchen?”

The man glanced between the two and Blaine noticed him swallowing thickly, “Y-Yeah, um. Your roommate? Kurt? We... Well, you know, and then he disappeared so I thought he might be mad or something so I figured that I'd make him-”

“Kurt is not allowed to sleep with his fuck toys,” Sebastian said monotonously as he walked past the guy to grab a cup of coffee. The man gave him a confused look and then turned to Blaine. 

“Sorry?”

Blaine snorted, “Kurt always sleeps with us. Can't have him getting too attached, you know?”

Then man glanced between Blaine and Sebastian, eyes widening, “So... You three...”

“Sebastian and I are a couple,” Blaine explained, “Kurt is our pet.”

Normally by this point the guy was gone. Apparently this guy was much more persistent than most, “Your... What? I'm sorry, I don't understand.”

Sebastian sat himself down on the table, “I'll explain,” his voice was dry, “Blaine and I love each other dearly, but we like having a third party to spruce things up a bit every once in a while. And we like keeping an eye on our toy, so Kurt lives with us. We take care of him, feed him, the works, and in return he lets us fuck him whenever we want. And he lets us watch him fuck people like you.”

The guy looked like he was going to throw up, “You guys weren't- I didn't see-”

“There's a hole in our bedroom walls,” Blaine droned on, walking past the man and Sebastian to get himself coffee, “We like watching without the fourth party being aware.”

The guy swallowed thickly, “Look, um. I didn't know about... That. Stuff. Um. Tell Kurt I said goodbye and not to tell anyone about... Well, he'll know.” 

Finally the guy ran. Well, first he went to Kurt's room to collect his clothes and then he ran. Blaine and Sebastian rolled their eyes as they sipped their coffee's. About five minutes after the guy left Kurt peeked out of their room, his hair dishevelled and his cheeks pink with sleep. 

“Did he leave?”

Blaine sighed, “One day you're going to learn to get rid of guys like that yourself.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “Maybe,” he grabbed his own mug, “It's more fun to let you guys do it. You guys play it up better anyway.”

“Eventually some guy is gonna see through the charade you know.”

Kurt shrugged, “If I ever sleep with someone smart enough to see through that I'll let you know in advance and we'll do the boyfriend bit. Or we could try a threesome thing, that seemed to freak Screamer out.”

Blaine snorted into his cup of coffee at the fact that Kurt had nicknamed the guy the same thing he had. Kurt and Sebastian both glanced at him and Blaine blushed slightly before waving them away. Sebastian stared at him for a few more seconds before looking back at Kurt, “Look, I wanted to talk to you about that. We really need to fix the whole... rooming situation.”

“Why?” Kurt asked cautiously. Sebastian and Blaine both blushed. 

“Because we can hear everything,” Sebastian admitted, “And it's sort of... weird. Plus sometimes we can't sleep because of it.”

Kurt looked over both of them before shrugging and taking a sip of his coffee, “Alright. If you guys help me swap my room with the office then I'm game. That room is closer to the bathroom anyway.”

Blaine and Sebastian grinned at each other and then grinned at Kurt before they all started moving in order to get ready for their respective days.

**2008**

Kurt had been dreaming of attending Dalton Academy his whole life. Ever since his dad showed him that picture of he and Kurt's mom in their Dalton and Crawford uniforms, Kurt just could not wait to don his own blazer. And ever since Blaine's parents agreed to let him attend Dalton with Kurt in the fall, the dream had just gotten better. 

He wasn't really sure how he felt about Blaine anymore. To be honest, he was never sure when it came to Blaine. Sometimes all he wanted to do was hug him, or hold him tight or... Kiss him. But other times he couldn't see himself as more than just best friends with Blaine. And really, he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk a life long friendship for a fourteen year old crush (and nine year old. And ten year old. And thirteen year old). 

The problem was that lately he couldn't stop thinking about Blaine. Of course, he'd gone through this several times, but normally it didn't last longer than a week at a time. But now... Well, now Blaine was all he thought about. And standing next to him, in front of their shared dorm room at Dalton Academy... Let's just say it was worse than ever. 

In all technicalities, Blaine and Kurt shouldn't be allowed to share a room. Simply because of their sexual orientation. Kurt's dad had been offended at first, but Kurt had calmly explained to him that if it was a co-ed school they wouldn't let boys and girls sleep in the same rooms, so they weren't going to let two gay boys sleep in the same room. Burt understood. Blaine's father, on the other hand, didn't. He raised a giant stink about inequality and tons of other things, and eventually threatened to sue the school if his son and his best friend weren't allowed to share a room. 

So there they were.

“Remember, if you need anything-”

Blaine and Kurt both chuckled as their fathers spoke at the same time. They shared an amused glance, “We're fine, really,” Blaine said, pushing his father out of the room, “I appreciate your concern, but it's unnecessary.”

Burt laughed as Blaine pushed Grant Anderson out of the door. Grant laughed as well and dug his heels into the ground, making it more difficult for his son. Blaine groaned as his father's weight started to weigh down on him and after ten seconds of struggle both Anderson's were on the floor. Burt and Kurt couldn't stop laughing. 

When they'd all calmed down, Grant placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, “I'm serious though. They say anything about you and Kurt and your mother and I will be here in ten seconds flat.”

Blaine smiled softly at his dad and nodded, “Yeah. Don't worry though, we'll be fine.” He glanced at Kurt who nodded. His dad gave him a look that said that what Grant had just told Blaine went for him as well. The father's hugged their sons, and then hugged the other's son as well before reluctantly leaving Kurt and Blaine to fend for themselves. As soon as the door closed, Blaine heaved a sigh of relief.

“Oh my God, I thought they'd never leave.”

Kurt snorted at that, “Yeah, thank God it wasn't our mother's, huh? God, we'd have never heard the end of it.”

They chuckled quietly for a while before getting started on their task. The room was full to the brim of boxes, and they only had one day to get themselves settled in before classes started. They split up, each going to their own sides of the room to begin setting themselves up. 

The silence weighed heavy on Kurt. It wasn't awkward, and that's what bothered him. He and Blaine were so comfortable with each other, they could not say a word and still feel completely at ease. It was driving Kurt crazy. 

“I'm so glad they let us room together,” he spoke loudly, trying to break the silence. Blaine looked up from where he had been folding some clothes into a dresser and smiled. Kurt's heart skipped a beat. 

“Me too,” Blaine admitted, “I don't think I could handle living with someone other than you.”

Kurt felt a blush creep up his neck and turned around before Blaine could see it, “Same,” he spoke quietly, “I mean, what if whoever I was roomed with was a jock or something? Just because there's a no-bullying policy doesn't mean that people aren't homophobic.”

Blaine chuckled and Kurt couldn't see him but he was pretty sure he was shaking his head, “Just because they're jocks doesn't mean they're homophobic,” Kurt turned to look at him and found Blaine giving him a soft smile, “Who knows. Maybe you'll meet the love of your life here and he'll be a jock. Then you'll be eating your words.”

Kurt nodded and went back to his task. 

Right. The love of his life. 

He was pretty sure that person was currently standing two feet away from him.

**2020**

Blaine and Sebastian had decided to take their own advice and when Kurt had come home on Friday night with a boy who looked barely over eighteen in toll they had made themselves scarce. Even though there was more space between their and Kurt's room, they could still hear way too much and so they decided that a walk in the park was more than warranted. And so, after pulling on heavy coats and lacing themselves up in designer boots (Christmas presents from Kurt) they made their way down to Central Park, only a ten minute ride by subway. 

Which, of course, meant that they were currently walking there by foot because, “It's so beautiful out, Blaine! And it's not even that cold, come on.”

Blaine didn't complain despite the fact that it really _was_ that cold and he hadn't worn a scarf. Because he wanted to keep Sebastian happy. And at this point, he wasn't ashamed to admit that the only reason he was doing it was so that he would stop pulling away every time Blaine tried something. Okay, he understood that they were both way past their teenage years and that they had work and a roommate that made it almost impossible to get alone time, but seriously. Just because he wasn't sixteen didn't mean he didn't want to have sex anymore.

“I wish it would snow,” Sebastian admitted out loud. Blaine glanced over at him and smiled. He reached between them and grabbed his boyfriend's hand. It felt warm in his own, “Wouldn't that just be perfect? A walk in central park as it snows. So romantic.”

Blaine cuddled closer into Sebastian's side and breathed him in. Yes, he did want sex. But sometimes just this was good enough.

**

On their way home, Sebastian had seen one of his old college friends and stopped to talk. Blaine was already beyond frozen and so he kissed Sebastian on the cheek and told him that he'd see him in a few minutes. When he left he heard Sebastian's friend say, “I can't believe you two are still together!” and Sebastian respond with a soft, “Of course we are.”

Blaine couldn't wipe the smile off his face despite the cold. He always loved when they got to reassure people of their love. When they'd gotten together in high school nobody had believed they would make it past two weeks. Well, twelve years later and they had sure as hell proven everybody wrong.

When he finally reached their apartment he let himself in quietly. Based on the silence he supposed that Kurt and whoever the guy was were already done. Blaine glanced down at his watch and tutted. They'd been gone for over an hour. They damn well better be done. 

He took off his coat and boots, placed them in the closet by the entrance and then went to warm himself up with a cup of coffee. He wasn't expecting to find the young guy that Kurt had brought home (seriously, it was like ten o'clock at night, where did Kurt _find_ these guys) standing completely naked in the kitchen. Blaine squeaked, his eyes glued on the guys bare ass. Normally he wouldn't be getting turned on by that but... Well, he hadn't seen his boyfriend's ass in almost three weeks and he was really horny, okay?

The guy turned around quickly and Blaine turned away so that he didn't get a glimpse of dick. Because really, that was just too much, “Um... Hello,” Blaine spoke nervously. He wasn't sure what to do. Would Kurt want him to get rid of the guy? He'd never been in the situation of coming face to face with one of Kurt's fucks before six o'clock in the morning. 

“Who are you?” the guy asked. Blaine coughed awkwardly. 

“Could ask you the same question.”

“I'm- I mean, Kurt didn't tell me-”

Blaine sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. _Please come home Sebastian, please come home right now you are so much better at this then I am..._

Thankfully, he was saved when Kurt called out, “Kyle? Where are you? I'm ready for round two.”

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief when Kurt appeared, wearing only a pair of boxers. His eyes locked with Blaine's, and Blaine gave him a _help me_ look, still facing away from the guy. Kurt glanced between him and the guy before bringing a hand up to his mouth, “Blaine.”

_Okay. This is good. He wants to get rid of the guy. I know what to do now._ “Kurt. Care to explain?” he motioned to the guy standing buck naked behind him. 

“Look, baby, it's not what you think. Kyle and I were just-”

Blaine crossed his arms over his chest, “Getting ready for round two?”

The guy – Kyle, apparently – squeaked, “Oh my God, you're- You have a boyfriend?”

Feeling like getting back at Kurt for putting him (even if it was unknowingly) into this situation, he turned and face the guy (making sure to keep his eyes on his face) and bit out, “Husband, actually.”

He saw the guy flush a dark red and then he scurried out of the room. Kurt and Blaine stood in silence for a while, not wanting to say anything while the guy was still there. A couple of minutes later, the guy re-appeared fully clothed, squeaked out a quiet, “Sorry!” and then ran out of their apartment. As soon as he was gone, Blaine fell into a chair. Kurt tutted.

“I thought you and Sebastian left?”

Blaine glared at him, “In case you haven't noticed, it's next to freezing outside. We walked around for like an hour and then decided to come back. We figured you guys would be asleep or he would be gone already.” He paused and then sat up straighter, “I hate you, by the way.”

Kurt snickered, “Whatever. Saved me the trouble of getting rid of him in the morning. Although I do wish I'd had enough time to go for another round. He had a nice ass.”

Blaine whined, “Kurt, look, you know Sebastian and I don't care what you do. But can you, I don't know, go to his house next time?”

“That guy still lives with his parents.”

“I mean with whoever you decide to... you know... next.”

Kurt smirked and lifted an eyebrow. He took a step towards Blaine, “Fuck?”

“Sorry?”

“You mean whoever I decide to fuck next?”

Blaine let out an annoyed huff, “Whatever you want to call it. Just, don't do it here, okay?”

Kurt rolled his eyes and dropped into the chair in front of Blaine, who really wished that he'd at least put on a shirt or something. Normally seeing Kurt half naked didn't bother him, but apparently that Kyle guy had liked biting and Blaine was a little bit jealous that Kurt had hickies littering his chest. 

“Why is this suddenly bothering you? We've all been living together for like, five years now, and you and I have been living together for longer than that. It's only been the past month that's it bothered you that I bring random's home.”

Blaine knew that was true. He also knew his annoyance at Kurt's constant stream of lovers stemmed from the fact that he himself wasn't getting any. But he wasn't going to tell Kurt that.

“Look, that's not the point. The point is that next time either go to their house or keep it down!” and with that he stormed into his room and curled into his bed. He waited for a couple of seconds before pulling a pillow over his head and screaming. 

**2008**

So far, his first week at Dalton had gone really good. He could already tell that his classes would be challenging, and he thanked God that he only had French and Phys Ed with Blaine because he could only stand his best friends getting better grades than him for so long. It also gave him a bit of break from Blaine's devastatingly handsome face. 

It was Friday, the end of his official first week as a high school student, a he had a good feeling about the rest of his years at Dalton. Obviously he wouldn't know until he was graduating how well high school would go for him, but he still had a good feeling about it. And he'd already made a couple of friends, two of them from a year above him. For some reason that made him happy. 

He was just about ready to crash as he made his was to his last period of the day. Thankfully it was English, and he was very good at English. He slumped into a seat right at the back and ignored the glances he received from several students. It wasn't like it was the first time they'd seen him, he'd been in this class all week. 

He pulled out his notebook and started doodling on a fresh page as he waited for the rest of the students and teacher to arrive. It wasn't until someone sat down beside him that he realized he had been doodling hearts around his and Blaine's names. He quickly flipped the page and blushed slightly. He looked up to see who was sitting beside him and flushed even more when he realized the boy was absolutely gorgeous. Not Blaine level gorgeous – but still. 

“Hi,” he couldn't help but say. The boy looked over at him and smiled shyly. 

“Hi.”

“I'm Kurt,” he extended his hand. The boy shook it, “Kurt Hummel.”

“Sebastian Smythe.”

Kurt nodded and then looked forward when the teacher entered the room and began telling everyone to calm down. Kurt instantly sat straight in his seat. Just because he didn't want to sit at the front didn't mean that he didn't want to learn. Honestly he just didn't want to draw any more attention to himself. 

About half way through the lesson, Sebastian tapped his arm lightly and then nodded down to where their desks were joined. Kurt looked down and saw a folded piece of paper there. He pointed to himself and Sebastian nodded before looking towards the front. Curious, Kurt unfolded the paper.

_Do you think I could sit with you at lunch on Monday? You're the first person who's spoken to me all week._

Kurt's eyes widened at the note and quickly scribbled back _Of course you can! I can't believe I'm the first person. You seem so nice!_

He passed the note back to Sebastian and saw him smile at what he'd written. For some reason, that made him smile too.

**2020**

It was November 14th, Blaine and Sebastian's anniversary, and Blaine was going to get laid. He had booked a hotel room for he and Sebastian that night, meaning they wouldn't have any annoying roommates (and he said that with love, because he really did like Kurt but he had sort of been cockblocking Blaine for the past month) to interrupt them. Kurt had helped him pick out the hotel, claiming he had stayed there one night and that it was really very nice. Blaine forced himself not to think about the fact that there was a possibility that Kurt had had sex on the same bed that he was planning on having sex with Sebastian. 

He picked Sebastian up from his office, a large bouquet of roses in his hands, and then took him out to a fancy restaurant. He'd recently gotten a promotion at his own work, and he had specifically saved his bonus for this night. Because this night was going to be perfect, and romantic, and Goddammit Blaine was getting some if it killed him. 

He knew that wasn't the mentality he should be having but he couldn't help it. It'd been a _month_.

As they ate, Sebastian casually said something that changed the entire course of the evening, “I think we should move in together.”

Blaine raised an eyebrow as he chewed on his stake, “Honey, we already live together.”

Sebastian blushed at that but then shook his head, “No, I mean... Just the two of us. Without Kurt.”

For some reason that made Blaine's heart stop in his chest. Without... Without Kurt? Live with Sebastian... Without Kurt? He hadn't lived without Kurt for twelve years. Even thought of living without Kurt made his heart ache. Sebastian, obviously noting his distress, put a hand up to get his attention, “I'm not saying we should do it tomorrow but... Blaine, I want to be with you forever. And I know we both agreed we aren't ready for marriage yet but. I don't know, eventually Kurt's going to have to move out. And we're all financially stable, I just think-”

“Can we talk about this another day?” Blaine asked, his teeth slightly clenched. He understood what Sebastian was saying – What if they did decide to get married? It wasn't like Kurt was going to continue living with them. But they weren't married, and Kurt was living with them, and they couldn't just kick him out! He couldn't- He didn't know what he'd do without Kurt in the house.

“Yeah, sure,” Sebastian gave Blaine a weird look, “I know that Kurt is really important to you, Blaine. But I just think-”

Blaine put his hand up, “Really. Just... Another day, alright?”

Sebastian bit his lip and then nodded slowly, going back to his food in silence.

**2008**

Befriending Sebastian had been the worst idea ever. When he'd agreed to sit with Sebastian at lunch on Monday, he hadn't thought of the fact that Blaine would have to sit with Sebastian at lunch too. And he didn't think of the fact that Sebastian was the guy in Blaine's Math class that he'd mentioned he thought was cute. And he didn't think of the possibility that Sebastian would ask him if Blaine was seeing anyone during their next English class. And he didn't think of the possibility of Blaine getting ready to go on his first date with Sebastian halfway through October.

He could slowly feel his heart breaking as Blaine hurried around the room, pulling out sweaters and t-shirts, trying to find the best combination with his dark wash jeans. Kurt watched him mumble to himself and slowly make a mess of their room – a mess he knew he'd have to pick up later. He sighed.

“Just wear the grey button up with the purple and blue vest. It'll look great,” he spat out. Blaine turned and gave him a thankful smile. He pulled the clothes on (Kurt forced himself to look away when Blaine took off the shirt he was wearing to put on the other one) and then looked at himself in the mirror. 

He looked amazing. 

“I don't know-”

“Blaine.” Kurt stood up and walked over to his best friend, “What's wrong? Seriously. You've been freaking out about this for far too long.”

Blaine let out a long, dramatic sigh and slumped down on his bed. Kurt cautiously sat down beside him, “Have you ever kissed someone?”

Kurt flushed at that. He remembered back in middle school when he'd first come out. There had been one boy, David, who had started staring at him a little too long. Kurt figured he liked him and, in an attempt to get over his feelings of the day for Blaine, he approached him after school one day. It had ended in Kurt getting his first kiss and David asking him to never tell anyone. Kurt had agreed and the two had never spoken again. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, “Why?”

Blaine let himself fall onto his back, “It's just... I don't know. I really like Sebastian, but what if he expects us to kiss at the end of the date? You know, he used to live in Paris. _Paris_. Do you know how many guys he could have kissed in Paris?” Kurt watched emotions play over Blaine's face before he looked straight into Kurt's eyes, “What if I'm not good at it?”

Kurt bit his lip, an idea instantly ingraining itself in his mind. _Go big or go home_ he told himself, “Come here.” Blaine frowned but sat up, “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Blaine said instantly, “You're my best friend.”

Kurt nodded, looked over Blaine's face for any sign of hesitation, and then leaned forward and pressed a short, sweet kiss to Blaine's lips. Instantly he felt his insides come alive and his lips tingled at the feeling, but he forced himself to pull away. 

A part of him hoped that Blaine would pull him into another kiss. That he'd kiss him and kiss him until he forgot all about Sebastian and their date and anybody but Kurt. But the logical side of him knew that would never happen. Because Blaine liked Sebastian. And Kurt was just a friend helping him out.

He forced himself to open his eyes and found himself staring at a smiling Blaine, “There,” he whispered, “Now you don't have to worry about it.”

Blaine threw himself at him and wrapped him in a tight hug, “Thank you so much, Kurt,” he said, and then in a quiet voice he whispered, “I'm so glad it was you.”

That was the thought that kept him going that night. That despite the fact that Blaine liked Sebastian and that Blaine was going on a date with Sebastian, Kurt had been Blaine's first kiss. And Blaine was glad it was him.

**2020**

Blaine wasn't feeling as great about getting laid as he thought he would. For some reason, the entire time he'd been fucking into Sebastian he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Sebastian wanted to move in without Kurt. Obviously it had killed the mood a little bit.

Sebastian seemed to have enjoyed himself. Blaine supposed he had too, in a way (it was hard not to enjoy yourself when your dick was buried in your boyfriend's ass) but it had still been less than what he'd hoped for. And when Sebastian had blown him the next morning it still didn't seem to be enough. 

Because Sebastian wanted to kick Kurt out. Or to live without Kurt. And that concept was so foreign to Blaine it wasn't even funny. 

When they returned home it was to find that Kurt had made them a special anniversary dinner, “Probably not as fancy as what you had last night, but I figured you'd be hungry after last night.” A wink and then he'd disappeared out the front door. Blaine watched him go, his heart aching. Why the hell did Sebastian want to leave their friend behind?

“Okay, what's wrong.” They had been eating in silence for far too long, and Blaine knew it, but he couldn't stop the constant stream of _I can't live without Kurt_ that was running through his head. Blaine looked up at his boyfriend to find him giving him a concerned look. Blaine sighed and dropped his fork on his plate.

“I can't live without Kurt.”

Sebastian stared at him for a few seconds before smiling, “Babe, I'm not asking to cut Kurt out of our lives completely. I just... I want some privacy, you know? I want to be able to go to sleep without hearing Kurt screwing some guy across the hall.”

Blaine swallowed thickly, “I just... I can't live without Kurt, Sebastian. Maybe some day but... Well, not now.”

They were both quiet for a few seconds before Sebastian nodded, “Okay,” he said quietly, “Alright. But just... Think about it, okay? Like I said, we don't need to move out tomorrow. I just want you to think about it.”

Blaine nodded, even though he knew that he'd already done all the thinking he needed to.

**2010**

“I think I'm ready to go all the way with Sebastian.”

Kurt almost spit out the coffee he'd been drinking, which would have totally ruined his laptop. He looked up at Blaine to find him give him a cautious look from where he was sitting on his bed. Kurt swallowed the liquid in his mouth and asked, “Oh, yeah?”

Blaine smiled hesitantly and nodded, “Yeah. Like... We've been officially dating since basically the beginning of freshman year-”

“Just since November,” Kurt muttered.

“And I think I'm ready,” his smile fell a little when he saw Kurt's face, “Do- Do you think it's a bad idea? I mean-”

Kurt sighed, “Look, Blaine, I can't tell you what to do,” _Don't have sex with Sebastian. Please don't have sex with Sebastian, save yourself for me, please I'm begging you,_ “Because it comes down to you. And if you love Sebastian and you think you're ready... Then go for it.”

Blaine pursed his lips and then nodded, “You don't think I should.”

“I think you should do what you want to do. If you think you're ready, then... Yeah. Go for it. But don't do it if he's pressuring you, or if you're trying to prove something.”

Blaine blushed, “I'm not trying to prove anything. Really. I love Sebastian,” Kurt's heart gave a painful pang, “And I want to do this with him,” he smiled as he looked at his lap, “It'll be his first time too. We're- I'm so happy I get to share that with him.”

Kurt felt tears springing to his eyes, “Yeah,” he coughed, trying to clear his throat, “Yeah, that's great. That's- Very special.”

Blaine nodded, stood up, kissed Kurt quickly on the cheek, mumbled a quiet “Thank you,” and then disappeared. 

When he didn't return to their room that night, Kurt allowed himself to cry for the first time in years.

**2020**

It was almost Christmas and Blaine and Sebastian had not spoken about the possibility of moving out since their anniversary. Honestly, as much as Blaine tried to consider the option (which he knew made sense, really it made so much sense) he just couldn't get his mind wrapped around not having Kurt in the same apartment as them. And he knew that it didn't mean that they'd never see each other, but there were some days that the only time he saw Kurt was during breakfast or supper, and if they didn't live together then how would he do that?

He groaned as he opened the door to the apartment. He had gotten off work early that day (pipe explosion, it was messy) and decided to go home to get some peace and quiet.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't realize that Kurt was fucking a guy on the couch until he was face to face with the sight. His keys fell to the floor instantly and his jaw dropped as he watched Kurt pushing in and out of the guy faster than he knew was possible. His own ass started to tingle (how long had it been since Sebastian fucked him?) at the sounds the guy was making. 

Of course, he'd always known that Kurt was good in bed. How could he not be, with the amount of guys who came through their apartment and the way they always sounded? But actually seeing Kurt in action, his ass tightened (and wow, Kurt had a very nice ass) as he pistoned in and out of whoever the guy was' ass... God.

His knees almost gave out when Kurt turned around to face him. Their eyes locked, and Blaine expected Kurt to stop what he was doing and apologize for the display. Instead, he simply started fucking the guy harder, making the guy bent over the couch wail. Blaine felt like his body temperature had gone up to five thousand degrees as he watched Kurt fuck a random guy while he kept his eyes locked on Blaine. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Kurt finally spoke, his voice hoarse (maybe he'd been blowing the guy and sweet mother of Jesus he did not need that mental image), “Or are you going to join?”

Blaine squeaked at the implications and after allowing himself to watch for a few more seconds he scurried out of the apartment as fast as he could.

**2010**

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Blaine had lost his virginity to Sebastian. Apparently Kurt had been right, because when Blaine returned to their room the morning after their talk he was practically glowing and he instantly gushed to Kurt about how wonderful it had been. He hadn't given out specifics, but that wasn't even what mattered. The point was that the boy Kurt was completely in love with had had sex with somebody else. And Kurt was tired of sitting around. 

Which is why he found himself standing in front of Scandal's, fake ID in hand, waiting for the bouncer to wave him in. He'd decided to go alone, despite his friend Puck offering to go with him, and when he was allowed into the bar he felt excitement flow through him. 

Blaine could have sex? Well, so could he. And he would have much better sex than Blaine and Sebastian probably did. They were probably all vanilla and staring into each others eyes and- Okay, no more of that. The point was that he was going to have sex and it was going to be much better than Blaine and Sebastian's. 

He glanced around the room, instantly spotting a group of guys who looked to be his age. He recognized a couple of them from the mixers between Dalton, Crawford and the co-ed version of both, McKinley. One boy in particular caught his eye, and he remembered seeing him dancing with a short brunette girl at the mixer. _Apparently not his girlfriend_ he thought happily. 

He purposefully dragged his eyes up and down the guy before going up to the bar and ordering a drink. Within a minute the guy had followed him over. 

“Hey.”

Kurt turned and flashed him a smile, “Hey.”

“You don't look twenty-one.”

Kurt smirked, “Neither do you, Titan.”

The boy flushed at the mention of McKinley's football team and slid into the seat next to Kurt, “You go to Dalton, right?” Kurt nodded, “I knew I recognized you. You were at the mixer last year, right? I saw you dancing with a short guy. Didn't want to interrupt.”

Kurt preened at the fact that this boy had remembered him, “You could have. I'm sure his boyfriend would have loved that. Although I do seem to recall you dancing with a short _girl_.”

The boy grinned, “Yeah, Rachel. She's my best friend. Her boyfriend couldn't make it, so I decided to accompany her. Honestly, those things aren't really my idea of fun.”

Kurt sipped at his drink and batted his eyelashes, “Same. I prefer things like this,” he motioned towards the dance floor of the bar and flushed slightly when he caught sight of the guys' friends, grinning and giving them thumbs up. Kurt turned back to the guy, “I'm Kurt, by the way.”

“Finn.”

“Well, Finn,” he glanced towards the dance floor, “Are you going to ask me to dance?”

Finn grinned and pulled him onto the dance floor, immediately showing Kurt that his skills left something to be desired. Kurt still had fun though, and an hour later found the two of them making out heavily in a bathroom stall. Kurt hadn't kissed anyone since Blaine, and he had to admit that he wished he'd done so. He had gotten asked out a couple of times. Now, as Finn's mouth sucked bruises onto his neck, he wondered why he'd said no. 

_Because of Blaine._

“My mom's out on a date tonight,” Finn panted against Kurt's neck, “Do you want to come back to my house?”

Kurt felt a moment of panic at the question. But as soon as the panic came, it was gone. Wasn't this what he'd come to Scandals for in the first place? To have sex? 

“Lead the way.”

**2020**

When Blaine returned, it was to find a fully clothed Kurt sitting at the table in the kitchen sipping what he guessed was coffee. He looked up at the sight of Blaine walking in and had the decency to look sheepish. 

“Where's Sebastian?” he asked casually. Blaine shrugged. 

“He's probably working late. You know, lawyer stuff.”

Kurt nodded and then motioned for Blaine to sit down. Blaine did, trying to avoid Kurt's eye. He knew it shouldn't be like this – he'd been listening to Kurt have sex for years – but it was one thing to hear him have sex and another to... Well, see it. And _God_ did he wish he hadn't seen it. Because it was easily the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

“I'm sorry about before,” Kurt said slowly, “I didn't know you'd be home that early. I figured we'd have time to at least move it to the bedroom before you or Sebastian got home.”

Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Have you... I mean, have you ever done it... There. Before?”

Kurt raised an eyebrow, “On the couch?” Blaine nodded, still avoiding his eyes. There was just something about seeing his best friend totally naked (that _ass,_ God) that just changed things, “Don't tell Sebastian.”

Blaine couldn't stop the incredulous laugh from escaping his mouth. He managed to maintain eye contact with Kurt for long enough to see him smiling mischievously before the images came back and he had to look away, blushing, “Couldn't you wait till like... I don't know, it was after four in the afternoon?”

“Well, you and Sebastian were both supposed to be working until six, and I know you hate it when I bring guys home so I figured I'd get it over with before you guys could come home and complain,” he shrugged, “Wasn't really expecting you to walk in.”

Blaine chewed on his bottom lip, before asking the question that had been on his mind all afternoon, “Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“When you asked me to um... To join,” he caught Kurt's eyes for a split second, “Did you want me to or were you just trying to get rid of me?”

Kurt smiled at him softly and took his hands in his own, “I knew you would leave if I said that,” he replied honestly, “But I wouldn't have been upset if you did join in. I love fucking someone and getting fucked at the same time.”

Blaine blushed at that mental image and looked up at the ceiling, “How- How did you know that? That I normally top?”

“Seriously?” Kurt laughed, “Wait, no. Really, you top most of the time?” Blaine frowned at raised his eyebrows. Kurt's jaw dropped, “Wow. Okay, didn't see that coming.”

“But you just-”

“ _I_ would be fucking _you_. The other guy would be fucking me. Come on Blaine, you really think I'd let you top with that ass?” Blaine squirmed, images of Kurt's ass coming to mind, “Sebastian's either an idiot or he has a really small dick because to let you top when you're...” he motioned with his hand and Blaine raised an eyebrow. 

“When I'm... What?”

“Well, I mean, I always pegged you for a power bottom, to be honest. But wow, you top. That's cool too, I guess.”

Blaine bit his lip. It was interesting that Kurt thought that, because he'd always thought of himself as a bottom too. And when he and Sebastian had lost their virginity to each other, he had bottomed. But then he'd topped and Sebastian decided that he liked bottoming better and... Well, honestly Blaine had always played the role of desperate boyfriend who didn't care how it was done as long as someone's dick was being pleasured by someone's hand, mouth or ass. 

“Not that that's been happening recently,” he muttered to himself. Kurt instantly sat up straighter and Blaine flushed when he realized that he'd said that out loud. Kurt smirked.

“You're having trouble in bed,” he said giddily. Blaine failed to see what was so great about that, “Okay, spill. What's wrong. Let Uncle Kurt advise you in the ways of sex.”

Blaine huffed, annoyed, “We're not having trouble in bed, okay? Everything is fine, I don't see how you would get that idea.” Kurt gave him a pitying look, “We're not! I swear. We're fine, okay? Maybe we don't have as much sex as we used to but we still do. At least twice a week,” _or once a month. That was basically the same thing, right?_

“Come to think of it, I never hear you guys anymore,” Kurt tapped his finger against his lips, lips that had been wrapped around a cock only hours ago and _wow_ Blaine needed to _stop_ , “At first I just figured it was because you guys were doing it while I was, but then I remembered that that totally turns Sebastian off.”

“Kurt, really, don't-”

“Plus, neither of you has been hoarse for a while so I know you're not even doing blowjobs. Oh my God, are you getting any at all?”

“No, I'm not!” Blaine screamed. Kurt jumped slightly and then smirked when Blaine realized what he'd said. He ran a hand over his face, “We don't fuck, okay? Are you happy now?”

Kurt grinned, “Very,” he looked over his face and then his smile fell into a look of concern, “It's not because of me, right?” Blaine raised an eyebrow, “Because I've been sort of going over the top with the guys lately. You guys aren't... It's not my fault, right?”

Blaine sighed, “No, it's not. It's us. Or, maybe it's me. I don't know,” he dropped his face into his hands, “All I know is that for like, two months now every time I try and take things past a couple of quick kisses Sebastian pulls away saying he's tired or he's got a headache or whatever. The last time we fucked was on our anniversary.”

Kurt let out a low whistle, “Damn. How have your balls not fallen off?”

“Hey,” Blaine crossed his arms over his chest, “Sex isn't everything, you know. Sebastian and I actually like to spend time together with our clothes on.”

“Yeah, but... Blaine, you're telling me that you and Sebastian haven't done _anything_ for a _month_.”

Blaine sighed, “Okay, fine. It bothers me a bit. But still, he's probably just really stressed with all those cases he's taken on. I'm willing to wait it out.”

Kurt grinned, “Willing to wait to have sex in a position you don't even like?” Blaine's mouth dropped, “Hey, I saw your face when I said I thought you were the bottom. I know it's what you prefer,” he smiled, “Why don't you tell him? I mean, when two bottoms date I guess you just have to compromise, right? It's not fair for you to have to give up doing something you like just because he refuses to top you.”

Blaine shrugged, “I really don't mind. Seriously. It's been like this forever, and it's not like he never tops. It's just... Not very often.”

Kurt pursed his lips and then glanced at the clock, “Shit, I have to go. Listen, Blaine. Talk to Sebastian okay? And hey, if he doesn't want to top you just let me know. I'd fuck that ass so hard, you have no idea,” and with a final wink, Kurt dashed out of the house, leaving Blaine with a jumble of emotions that he had no idea what to do with.

**2010**

Kurt returned to his and Blaine's dorm room at around midnight with an ache at the bottom of his spine and a phone number in his pocket. He didn't think he'd call Finn for sex again – it wasn't that it was bad, he just didn't enjoy being on the bottom as much as he'd thought he would, and he couldn't really see Finn as being willing to let him top. But maybe he could be friends with the guy. 

He tried to be quiet, but it was to no avail. The second he'd closed the door the lights were on and he found himself being stared down by an obviously annoyed Blaine. Kurt slumped against the door, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Blaine glared, “Where were you?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe Blaine was doing this now, “Out,” he answered dissmisively, “You should be sleeping. Don't you have a test or something tomorrow?”

“I had to cover for you. You know it's inspection night tonight. The dean knows something's up. We could be expelled!”

Kurt turned on him, “You know, it's really funny that you'd be jumping down my throat because of this considering I had to cover for _you_ last inspection because you were off with Sebastian.”

Blaine flushed at that, “That's- That's totally different. We were-”

“Having sex, right? So what, you having sex is a valid excuse to miss inspection but me having sex isn't?” he scoffed and started stripping. He didn't care that Blaine was about to see the bruises that littered his chest, let him see. He'd put up with Blaine and Sebastian leaving hickeys on each other for the past two years. Blaine didn't get to be mad at him now.

“You were having sex?” Blaine spoke quietly. Kurt pulled his shirt off and then turned towards his best friend so that he'd get a good look at his chest. 

“Yes. I was. Not that it's any of your business.”

“Of course it's my business. It's my business because you're my best friend and I had to cover for you when I had no idea where you were. I was _worried_ Kurt. And now I find out you were-” he motioned to Kurt's chest and Kurt rolled his eyes, “Do I know him?”

“No.”

“Who is it?”

“Nobody you'd know.”

“Kurt, come on.”

“Look, Blaine,” Kurt pulled a t-shirt over his head, “I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going out. I'm sorry I had sex without consulting you first. You don't know the guy, he goes to McKinley. Is the interrogation over, or would you like to know in what position we did it?”

Blaine clamped his mouth shut and without another word turned off the lights and climbed into his bed. Kurt did the same, ignoring the pain in his heart.

**2020**

Blaine hated Kurt. He really, really hated him. Because ever since Kurt had told him that he'd be willing to fuck him a couple of days ago, that was all he'd been able to think about. 

He thought about it while he worked. He thought about it when he told Sebastian that he missed having sex. He thought about it when Sebastian told him about how stressed he was but that he'd make an effort. He thought about it when Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of him and gave him an apology blowjob. And he thought about it as he came down his boyfriend's throat. He thought about his best friend fucking him over the couch as his boyfriend of twelve years blew him. 

He was in so much trouble. 

The thing was that Blaine had wondered what sex with Kurt would be like for a long time. It was on and off, like his crush on Kurt when he was younger used to be. And it mostly stemmed from how satisfied Kurt's bed partners always seemed to be when they left the next day. It wasn't something he ever lingered on, just fleeting thoughts. But now.

Now.

Now those thoughts had turned into fantasies; fantasies that always reared their ugly heads at the worst possible times. Namely, whenever he went to have sex with Sebastian. Which was currently far more often than it had been for the past two months. 

Which was good. 

Really. 

Because he liked sex. And he liked sex with Sebastian. And he liked thinking about his best friend fucking him roughly in the ass as he had sex with Sebastian. 

Yep.

Everything was just great.

**2011**

Blaine had told him several times that it was a bit weird that he and Finn went to Scandals together and acted as each others wingmen, but he just didn't get it. Because it wasn't weird. Finn and Kurt had fucked once, and that was that. Neither had any interest in fucking again (especially after Kurt had told Finn that he really thought he was more of a top) and so there was no problem in finding other guys for each other to fuck. 

So what if Blaine didn't get it. Blaine was in a loving, monogamous relationship with Sebastian and so he had no say in what Kurt did. 

Okay, so maybe everything Kurt did was in hopes of getting over Blaine. Whatever. It was working, sort of. At least whenever he fucked someone else he didn't think about his best friend and Sebastian together. Besides, he got small thrills from knowing that both Blaine and Sebastian were uncomfortable with Kurt's new found love of sex. 

_Stop thinking about it_ he told himself as he downed his drink and advanced on a boy who looked like he was his age, _the more you think about it, the harder it is to forget about him._

**2020**

Sebastian had to work on New Years Eve. Who the hell worked on New Years Eve? Blaine stalked around his house, arms crossed over his chest and a pout that could rival a five year old's on his face. Kurt had been watching him for the last half an hour, and that in an of itself was unnerving. Because every time that Kurt looked at him all he could think of was how they had stared at each other as Kurt fucked that guy. 

“Would you calm down?” Kurt finally exclaimed. Blaine turned to look at him, a frown still creasing his face, “It's not like their going to have him in until midnight. Besides, you've gotten a New Years kiss for the last twelve years. I doubt missing one is going to be the end of the world.”

Blaine huffed and forced himself to sit beside Kurt, “You don't get it. I want to celebrate New Years with him. It's really important to me.”

Kurt shrugged, “Well, you will. Seriously, he's not going to miss it. He said he'd be home by ten, right? Well, there you go. Just stop stressing out because you're stressing _me_ out.”

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Blaine blurted. He felt his face flush as Kurt raised his eyebrow, “I mean... At least until Sebastian gets here. I know he'll be here, but things have been so weird between us lately and I just want to start the new year with him by my side, but now he's working and I know he's going to be home but-”

Kurt grabbed Blaine's face with both hands and yanked him forward so that they were barely an inch apart from each other. He could actually feel Kurt's breath hitting his lips and couldn't stop the small whimper from escaping, “Calm. Down.”

Blaine nodded and, thankfully, Kurt let him go. He sat up straighter and let out a cough, “Sorry. I just don't know what's going on with us,” _yes you do, you keep thinking about sleeping with your best friend,_ “Things have been so weird lately. And no-” he pointed at Kurt when he started to smirk, “Not in the bedroom. Things are fine there,” _not really because I keep picturing you fucking me when we have sex,_ “It's just everywhere else. He's been working so much and just... I don't even know.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “I'm not staying with you if you're going to be a stick in the mud.”

Blaine's jaw dropped, “Excuse me? I'm being sincere! Don't friends talk about these things with each other? God, Kurt. We used to have heart to hearts about this all the time.”

“Yeah, when we were teenagers and there was actually a possibility that something was wrong. Come on, Blaine. You know you and Sebastian are forever. There's no problems there, you're just creating them in your head for God knows what reason.”

Blaine pursed his lips. _If only you knew..._ “You're right, as always,” he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, “Will you still stay with me? I know you normally go out and screw someone to ring in the new year but...” Kurt grinned and knocked their shoulders together.

“I'm sure there'll be plenty of guys left after ten o'clock.”

**2012**

“Congratulations, Dalton Academy graduating class of 2012.”

Hats flew, blazers flew, somebody threw their pants. Kurt instantly found Blaine and hugged him tight. His heart beat faster in his chest when Blaine returned the hug just as tightly, “We did it,” he whispered into his friends ear. Blaine squeezed his hips tighter and they remained like that until Sebastian ran up and hugged both of them just as tight. 

“We're done!” he exclaimed, pulling Blaine in for a deep kiss. Kurt felt the familiar pang in his chest, but he forced himself to ignore it. Instead he searched for his parents and Finn in the crowd. When he found them he excused himself (thought Sebastian and Blaine were too busy playing tonsil hockey to notice) and then ran and hugged them. Finn hugged him extra tight and smacked him loudly on the lips despite his boyfriend having accompanied him to Kurt's graduation. Burt, Elizabeth, and Finn's boyfriend Sam all laughed at the action. 

“Congrats, bud,” his dad said, pulling Kurt into a side hug. Kurt grinned as his mother joined them and then allowed himself to shake hands with Sam, who seemed like he really didn't know what he was doing there. 

“Where's Blaine?” his mother asked. Finn glanced at him, somehow aware of Kurt's feelings, and Kurt shook his head minutely at him.

“He and Sebastian are celebrating,” he said, forcing a smile. Burt and Elizabeth nodded while Finn gave Kurt a sympathetic grimace. Kurt pulled him close and whispered, “I really need to go to Scandal's tonight. Can you and Sam come with? I need my wingman.”

Finn nodded. Kurt grinned at him and then let himself be congratulated further by his parents.

**2020**

Kurt and Blaine were on their second bottle of wine when Kurt said it. 

It. 

The thing they had avoided for over fifteen years. 

“I had such a huge crush on you in high school.”

Blaine spit out a little bit of the wine he'd been drinking. Kurt seemed completely unfazed by it, as he took a swig straight from the bottle. Blaine looked at him carefully, “Did you now?”

He'd always assumed that Kurt had a bit of a crush on him. It was just in the way he looked at him sometimes. Besides, it wasn't like Blaine had never had a crush on Kurt. In fact, he'd had a pretty major crush on Kurt when he met Sebastian. But he and Kurt were best friends, and a friendship like theirs wasn't worth risking over a fourteen year old crush. 

Or at least that's what he'd told himself. And then Kurt had kissed him before his date with Sebastian and Blaine had almost thrown everything out the window. 

But he hadn't. And now, with half a bottle of wine in his stomach and alcohol running through his veins, he was starting to wonder if he'd made the right decision.

Kurt tapped his fingers against his lips before shaking his head, “No, actually. I didn't have a crush on you in high school,” Blaine, for some reason ( _don't be a dumbass, Blaine, you know the reason)_ was disappointed. That didn't last very long, “I was completely in love with you in high school.”

Blaine's breath caught in his throat and before he knew it he was coughing in order to breathe again. Kurt, it seemed, didn't care that he'd caused such a reaction in Blaine.

“It's really funny too, because I was so heartbroken over you and Sebastian finally fucking that I went out and fucked Finn. And then I felt horrible for days until I fucked someone else,” Kurt chuckled quietly, but when Blaine looked over to see Kurt, he found him with tears in his eyes, “So funny.”

“Kurt...” Blaine reached forward but Kurt pulled away.

“I'm drunk, okay? You know I'm a lightweight. Why'd you give me alcohol anyway? God.”

Blaine pursed his lips, “Is that true? Were you... In love with me? In high school?” because if that was true then he felt like a total dick. 

It also made him wonder, in his alcohol addled mind, if Kurt might still have some sort of feelings for him.

“Yeah,” Kurt sighed nostalgically, “Thought you were the one. Clearly I was wrong, but who cares. Who needs love, right? Get your heart broken once, you realize it's not worth it. Love is for people like Finn and Nick, or like you and Sebastian. Love isn't for idiot who fall in love with their best friend.”

Blaine wanted to say something. He needed to say something. 

There was nothing to say.

“Blaine? Baby, I'm home.” 

Sebastian walked into the living room and noticed the empty bottle of wine and the half empty one they were sharing. He tutted and took the alcohol away, “Should have known,” he muttered when he went into the kitchen. Blaine ignored him in favour of staring at his best friend.

“Kurt...”

“Well, my job here is done,” he said in a falsely cheery voice, “Your boyfriend has returned and I can go out. I'll see you next year?”

Blaine felt tears welling up in his eyes but he nodded anyway. He watched Kurt leave the apartment and then settled himself further into the couch.

Happy new year indeed.

**

That night he kissed Sebastian at midnight. And ten minutes later they moved to their bedroom. Sebastian looked like he wanted to have sex, but Blaine wasn't in the mood. Instead the simply traded lazy kisses until Kurt returned home, obviously with another man in tow. Sebastian rolled his eyes, pulled in a new pair of ear plugs and rolled over to fall asleep. 

Blaine forced himself to listen to Kurt fuck someone else as tears rolled down his cheeks.

When had his life turned into this?

**2012**

Their apartment was huge. Considering they were two university students living in the middle of New York, they had a pretty decent apartment – which, of course, their parents were helping them pay for. 

Kurt was incredibly excited about New York. He and Blaine had been planning to move there together since Sophomore year, and since Sebastian's school was in Brooklyn it meant he wouldn't be living with them as they had been planning. Not that it mattered because Kurt was over Blaine and he had moved to a city full of gay guys to prove it. 

He would never have to fuck a guy over thirty again. He wouldn't have to fuck a guy twice. He could go to any gay bar and have enough attractive gay men to last him a life time. 

And maybe he'd be able to find love for once. Sex was nice, but Kurt really would like to be in a relationship for once. Something like Sebastian and Blaine had. Something that could last through everything. 

Something that could make him finally forget about Blaine once and for all. 

**2021**

There was a stranger in their kitchen on New Years and Blaine wanted to throw a chair at him. He knew he was being irrational; there was almost always a stranger in their kitchen in the morning. But having a stranger in their kitchen after Kurt practically admitted to being in love with him (okay, he'd said in high school, but come on) was not okay. 

Especially since said stranger got to experience Kurt fucking him the way that Blaine had been imagining Kurt fucking him for the past month. 

“Who are you?” Blaine asked, not at all surprised at how cold his voice was. The guy turned around (this one was fully clothed, thank God) and his eyebrows shot up when he saw Blaine. 

“Um... I'm Chad. I'm Kurt's- Whatever. I was just looking for a notepad to leave my number because I have to run, but I had a lot of fun with him and-”

“Don't bother,” he snapped, “He won't call you.”

The guy's shoulders fell, but his expression hardened, “How do you know? Who the hell are you anyway?”

“Let me tell you something about Kurt, okay?” Blaine took a step forward, completely ignoring the man's question, “When he was younger he fell in love. And that guy didn't realize it, so he started dating another guy. And do you know what Kurt did to get over that guy?” he didn't wait for an answer, “He started fucking other guys. Because that was the only way he thought he would get over the guy he was in love with. And guess what? He never stopped doing that. Every time he feels those feelings coming back he goes out and fucks a random, brings him back and then makes me and my boyfriend get rid of him.”

The guy clenched his jaw, “Look, I don't know what the hell is going on here, but-”

“Don't leave your number. Kurt doesn't care. I know he's the most beautiful man in New York, but he's cold when it comes to this shit. That guy I was talking about? He broke him. He fucked Kurt over, and now Kurt fucks over clingy guys like you who think they can turn a one night stand into something else. Guess what? You can't. Kurt doesn't give a fuck about you, just as he didn't give a fuck about all the other guys he screws. So get lost.”

“Blaine.”

Blaine turned to see Sebastian standing there, wrapped in a robe with a raised eyebrow. He felt his anger drain out of him, only to be replaced with guilt. The man was probably glancing between them because Sebastian snapped his eyes up to him and bit out a quick, “Get out of here,” before looking back at Blaine. 

As soon as the guy was gone, Blaine's mind started making up excuses for himself, “Look, Sebastian-”

“What the hell was that?” he took a step towards him, “Since when do you chew guys that Kurt brings home out like that? You've never done that, not even when you're playing the boyfriend.”

Blaine's throat closed up. He could already feel tears welling up in him and he just didn't know what to do anymore. His mind was foggy and his heart was beating fast, and he wasn't thinking when he said, “I'm going to spend a few days with my parents.”

Sebastian's eyebrows flew up, “Excuse me?”

“I need to get out. I'm... I don't know. I just need some time alone.”

“No, what you need to do is tell me what the hell that was just now, because I have half a mind to think-”

“We'll talk about it when I get back,” he said, already making his way to their bedroom and mentally thinking about the things he needed, “But right now I can't. I just need to get away.”

**2015**

He was doomed. He was doomed to live on one night stands and the scraps of affection that Blaine and Sebastian threw his way every once in a while. Sure, Finn had recently moved out to New York as well, but he was too busy with his new boyfriend, Nick (who had actually gone to Dalton with Kurt, Blaine and Sebastian, but had been in the year below them) to spend much time with Kurt. 

He was alone. 

And ever since Sebastian moved in with him and Blaine that fact was more obvious than ever.

The only time he ever felt like he wasn't alone was when he was fucking someone into the mattress. Lately, he'd made sure that he was really loud. Maybe he had a vindictive side that wanted to make Sebastian and Blaine feel bad for being in love. He didn't really know what his reasons were, he just made sure that he was loud and that he made whoever he shared a bed with that night scream. 

So maybe he was doomed. And maybe he was alone. But who needed love anyway? 

Not Kurt Hummel. 

No, siree. 

Not Kurt Hummel.

**2021**

Blaine's parents had been surprised to see him on their doorstep on New Years day, but they'd welcomed him into their home and quickly made him up some food. They all sat in silence around the dinner table as Blaine ate the sandwich his father had made him, until he couldn't take it anymore.

“I guess you're wondering why I'm here.”

His parents shared a glance before they nodded simultaneously. They had always been in sync like that, for as long as Blaine could remember. He'd asked once how they did that, when he was about eight years old. They'd simply replied, “We're in love,” and left it at that. 

It was funny, now that he thought about it. He and Sebastian had never been in sync like that. They'd always been the epitome of opposites attract, and Blaine had always loved that. But now, with Sebastian's job and Kurt and... God, everything was such a mess. 

“Did something happen, honey?” his mother asked softly, reaching out and taking his hand. Blaine squeezed hers and then glanced between his parents. He took a deep breath and let out the words he'd been thinking about all day. 

“I think I'm in love with Kurt.”

**2016**

Kurt hated weddings. Seriously. He hated them. Especially weddings like Finn's where everybody who was invited had brought a plus one except for him and Finn's creepy uncle who kept leering at him. 

He was happy for Finn, definitely happy for Finn. He and Nick were practically a match made in heaven, and it always made him happy to see soulmates find each other, fall in love and get married. The problem with that was that he had spent the last eight years of his life watching his own soulmate be in love with someone else. Apparently fate wasn't very kind and liked to chose someone every once in a blue moon to fuck with. Kurt was the lucky winner.

He'd always believed in love. He'd always believed in two souls being entwined, connected, whatever you wanted to call it. He'd never had a reason to think that he'd be twenty-two, living off of one night stands, never having had a serious boyfriend, and still completely in love with his best friend. 

Yeah, fate was a bitch. And for some reason, she was picking on Kurt. 

He watched Finn and Nick spin around the room, Nick with his head resting on Finn's collar. Blaine was on stage, crooning one of Elvis' ballads, swaying to the music. Kurt had been entranced ever since Blaine had gotten up on stage, and he didn't seem to be the only one. 

Sebastian, Blaine's soulmate, was watching him just as intensely. 

Kurt sighed and downed his drink. He didn't think he'd make it out of this wedding alive.

**2021**

Blaine spent a week with his parents. He ignored all of Sebastian's calls and texts. He wanted to say that he ignored Kurt's as well, but Kurt didn't try to contact him at all. Every night Blaine imagined Kurt bringing some guy home and fucking him in the room across the hall while Sebastian slept with his ear plugs in, his heart being broken by Blaine. 

The first time he thought it, it seemed a bit high on himself. But when he really thought about it, that was probably what was happening. He had flown into a jealous rage over his best friend screwing a guy and his boyfriend had overheard it; and then he'd disappeared. If he was in Sebastian's position, his heart would be breaking. 

Perhaps that was all Blaine was good at. Breaking hearts. He'd broken Kurt's, he was breaking Sebastian's, and eventually he was going to break his own. 

His parents had been way more supportive than he thought they'd be. They hadn't been surprised at all when he told them he might be in love with Kurt, in fact they'd sighed and said, “We knew this day would come,” and then proceeded to tell Blaine a few things that he really needed to hear. 

And then they'd simply been there for him as he wallowed in self pity for a week before handing him a plane ticket back to New York and telling him to face his future like a man. Which led to Blaine sitting in an airplane with a crying baby behind him, wondering when his life had gotten so messed up. 

He also wondered if he would even have a life to return to when his plane touched down.

**2016**

“Sebastian and I have been talking about marriage,” Blaine said a couple of days after Finn's wedding, his voice calm, “He really wants to get married.”

Kurt forced his heart to stop aching, because he wasn't allowed to feel pain over his friend. Blaine was with Sebastian and it wasn't Kurt's place to be sad because they wanted to take the next step in their relationship, “And you? Do you want to get married?”

Blaine's eyes lingered over Kurt's face, as if he were thinking about something that he didn't quite understand. It might have been wishful thinking on Kurt's part, but he was pretty sure that Blaine's eyes paused on his lips before licking his own, “Someday,” he replied, “When I find the right person.”

“Are you saying Sebastian isn't the right person?” he didn't want to get his hopes up. He wouldn't get his hopes up. He would _not..._

“I think he is,” Blaine replied, completely unaware of Kurt's heart cracking across the room, “But I don't think its the right time.”

“Right,” Kurt said, his throat feeling dry, “Timing is everything.”

**2021**

Sebastian picked him up from the airport. Blaine could tell that he was angry by the way that they didn't say anything until they'd reached the apartment. He followed Sebastian inside, forcing himself not to immediately ask where Kurt was. Apparently he didn't need to.

“I asked Kurt to go out for a bit,” Sebastian said, walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. Blaine followed him, “I figured we'd need some alone time to talk.”

Blaine nodded, his insides going numb. Talking. Right. He and Sebastian needed to talk. 

“I don't- I-”

“I need you to answer me straight up when I ask you this, okay Blaine? No beating around the bush.” Blaine nodded, his throat dry, “Are you cheating on me?”

Blaine shook his head immediately, “No! God no, I would never-”

“Then you're in love with someone else.”

Blaine's heart fell into his stomach at that point. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down at his lap, “When I was at my parents this week,” he began, his voice scratchy, “I had a lot to think about. My parents told me that I needed to listen to my heart, no matter how much it might hurt.”

Sebastian nodded, “So you are in love with someone else.”

Blaine forced himself to look into his boyfriend's eyes, “I didn't- I don't know when it happened. I've loved you for so long, and I thought you were the one. But... Lately things have been different. I know you've felt it too,” Sebastian nodded reluctantly at that, “First it was the sex, then we became emotionally distant. Now...”

“Now you're in love with Kurt,” Sebastian spoke quietly. Blaine felt tears stinging at his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry, Sebastian. I didn't-”

Sebastian shook his head, a bittersweet smile on his face, “Don't. Don't apologize for falling in love.” He took a deep breath and stood up, “Besides, I've already found a new apartment.”

Blaine's heart jumped in his chest, “What?”

“All my things are packed. I'm staying with a guy from work for a couple of days before they let me move into my new place. It's really nice. Hopefully you and Kurt will come visit sometime.”

A tear escaped Blaine's eye, “Sebastian, I don't-”

“Can I ask you something?” Blaine nodded instantly, “You know how you said you couldn't live without Kurt?” Blaine nodded again, “Did you ever wonder if you could live without me?”

Blaine didn't have an answer for that question, but that seemed to be enough for Sebastian. Without saying anything he stood up, walked over to Blaine's side of the table and kissed his temple. He then grabbed his coat, hastily discarded on the couch, and left, only looking back at Blaine once with sadness written across his face. When the door closed behind him, Blaine buried his face in his arms and cried. 

**2017**

Kurt watched Blaine and Sebastian watch the newest Disney movie in silence. He watched every emotion play across their face, watched the way they leaned closer at the same time, watched them smile at each other at a particularly cute scene and trade a sweet kiss. 

And for the first time in nine years, his heart didn't ache at the sight. 

**2021**

“I'm back,” Kurt sing-songed, “Are you guys finished with your reunion sex ye-” Blaine could tell the moment that Kurt saw him slumped in a kitchen chair, crying into his arms. He was at his side immediately, “Blaine? What's wrong?”

“We- I- My fault and he- He's so nice-”

Kurt didn't say anything, he just held Blaine and let him cry into his shoulder.

**2018**

Kurt loved Blaine. 

Blaine loved Sebastian. 

Sebastian loved Blaine. 

Kurt and Blaine were best friends. 

And that was okay. 

Kurt could live with that.

**2021**

It took Blaine a week to tell Kurt why he and Sebastian broke up. Kurt had stared at him for what felt like hours after before finally muttering, “What?”

“I said that I'm in love with you. And I know it might be too late but-”

“No.”

Blaine's heart gave a hopeful leap, “I'm n-”

“You don't get to do this. I've been in love with you for twelve fucking years and you do not get to just decide that you love me back now,” Blaine's heart fell, “And what, do you think that we're just going to be together? Just like that? No. No, Blaine. That's not how these things work.”

“I didn't expect you to just-” he stopped himself. Because he _had_. He had just expected Kurt to drop his whole lifestyle and be Blaine's boyfriend after being in love with him since Freshman year. God, what was wrong with him. 

“I need some time,” Kurt said, and Blaine knew that he was about to cry. Kurt always used that voice, that 'last word' voice of his, when he was about to cry because he wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible. Blaine hated that Kurt felt like he couldn't cry in front of him, “I'm going to go stay at a friend's house for a while, okay?”

Blaine nodded, but his throat felt dry, “What friend?”

“I'm not going to tell you. You'll just... You'll come looking for me, or you'll do something stupid. I remember what you were like when you thought you'd lost Sebastian a couple of years ago, and I don't think I can deal with that right now,” he sniffled as he stood, “I'll come back. And we'll talk some more. But for now... I just need some time.”

Blaine watched him leave the room. He felt like a part of him left with him.

**2018**

Kurt buried his face in his pillow. He wanted to die. He thought everything was okay. He was fine. For once he was okay with how his life had turned out. He had accepted that he'd never find love, he'd accepted that he'd never have Blaine. 

But he could hear Blaine and Sebastian having sex in the other room and he wanted to die. 

**2021**

Blaine kept busy. He refused to simply stop his life because things were changing. He still went to work, and when he wasn't working he was cleaning the apartment or cooking. He tried out at least thirty new recepies and had to call his mom and ask her to send him more. 

He had a long phone conversation with Finn, probably the first time he had talked to Finn without Kurt or Sebastian with him. He told him everything. Finn tutted and told him that he was glad he'd finally got his head out of his ass but that he really did need to give Kurt his time. 

“He's loved you for so long,” he said into the phone, “You know what the first thing he told me that first time he called me?” Blaine shook his head even though Finn couldn't see him, “He said, 'We can't fuck again. I want to top, and I'm in love with my best friend'.”

Blaine swallowed thickly, “I feel horrible. I always went to him with stuff about Sebastian, I told him I was going to have sex with him and I- I don't know, I just feel awful. I feel like such a dick.”

Finn laughed, “I always told him that. That you were a dick, I mean. But I had a bit of a crush on Kurt for a while, so I guess I resented you.” Blaine chuckled, “Look Blaine, like I said, you just need to give him some time. If this had been the other way around you'd have a hard time swallowing it too.”

Blaine thanked Finn, asked him to say hi to Nick and then hung up. He stared at a picture on the mantle, one of Kurt and Blaine when they were only eight years old, arms around each other, smiling wide to show off the fact that they'd both lost the same tooth the same day. Blaine held up the picture frame and slowly thumbed over Kurt's face. 

In a way, he felt like he'd wasted so much time with Sebastian when he could have had Kurt all along. But at the same time, he felt like he couldn't regret being with Sebastian no matter how hard he tried. He had been such an important part of his life for so long... 

He sighed, placed the picture back on the mantle, and then shrugged on his coat. He needed to get out of the house.

**2019**

Their apartment was getting too small. They had too much shit and they'd been living in the same place for six years. They needed to move. 

When Kurt told Blaine and Sebastian about his idea to leave their small apartment behind he noticed something flickering in Sebastian's eyes. It was barely there, but in that split second he saw an emotion that cut him straight to the core. 

Sebastian didn't want to live with Kurt anymore. 

When he'd called Finn, the man had laughed at him for thinking it was possible to tell such a clear thought from a simple glance, but Kurt knew what he'd seen. He could practically imagine Sebastian's thought process as Kurt had explained that they needed a bigger house for all their things. It was as if Sebastian had been screaming at him: “We don't need a bigger house. We just need you gone.”

And it hurt. Because what if Blaine thought that too? Was he just a burden on his friends? Was he a burden to the one he loved?

He needed to clear his head. He refused to dedicate another thought to the subject until he had some hot guy in his bed and alcohol flowing through his system. 

The problem was that those thoughts didn't just disappear with a couple of drink and hook ups. Those thoughts engrained themselves into his brain. And every time Sebastian looked at him he couldn't help but think that it was only a matter of time until Blaine looked at him that way too. And he couldn't stand that thought. 

**2021**

“You want another drink, honey?” 

Blaine looked up at the bar tender, a young woman with light brown hair and an annoyed look on her face. Or at least he thought it was annoyed... She was sort of... Spinning...

“Yeah,” he slurred, “Two more, actually. Hell, make it three.”

She raised an eyebrow and then left only to come back with a bottle of water seconds later. Blaine stared at the bottle suspiciously and then looked up at the woman, “Is this vodka?”

She snorted, “I have to cut you off. Company policy.”

“You just offered me another drink.”

“And I gave it to you.”

“I think I ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

She sighed, leaned on her forearms and said, “Everything is fixable.”

“Not this,” he sighed unhappily, taking a sip of his water, “He loved me for so long, you know? For so long and I was just so blind and now we love each other and it should be great but it isn't because he's gone. He's _gone_...” he narrowed his eyes to see the name tag of the woman, “Sugar. He said he'd be back but it's been a week and he's still not back and I can't live without him.”

She patted his hand lightly, “Look, I don't know what kind of mess you've gotten yourself into, but like I said, everything is fixable. So just don't worry too much about it, okay?”

Blaine chewed on his bottom lip and then nodded, “You're right. But just... I _need_ him. Can't he see that? I need him and he's gone.”

“He'll come back.” And with that she was gone. Blaine thought it was pretty stupid that she sounded so sure considering she'd never met Kurt nor had any idea what he was talking about, but for some reason he believed her. He made a mental note to leave her a big tip. 

He was about to leave when someone slid into his line of vision. He was tall, and that was basically all Blaine could tell about him because he was so blurry. He really had gone a little overboard on the drinks.

“Hey,” Tall Guy said. Blaine frowned, trying to focus on his face.

“Hello.”

“You look sort of lonely, sitting here, drinking by yourself.”

“Kurt's gone,” was Blaine's response, “He's gone and Sebastian's gone, but that was my fault because I dumped him and,” he buried his face in his hands, “And everyone's gone.”

“Well, I'm still here.”

Blaine snorted, “Yeah, but maybe you're not. Because I'm really drunk, and I need to go home and call Kurt and tell him to come back because I love him, you know? And I spent so much time trying not to love him by loving Sebastian and I hurt him so much.”

Tall Guy huffed, “Why don't I help you forget all about Sebastian and Kyle?” and there was a finger running up his arm and Blaine sighed.

“No, but thank you for the offer. And it's Kurt, by the way.”

This time he really did leave, slapping a fifty on the bar and ignoring Tall Guy's shouts for his number. 

**2020**

They signed the papers in January but only officially moved in in March. Kurt instantly claimed the largest room, and ignored the pang his heart gave when Sebastian decided that he and Blaine should have the room right next to his. They placed their beds parallel to each other, and Kurt got a good earful of the couple christening their new bed that night. Apparently the walls were thin. 

In an act of vengeance, he went out the next night and brought home two guys. 

He made sure they were as loud as they could possibly be.

**2021**

When Blaine woke up the next morning it was to the smell of bacon and cinnamon filling the apartment. He rubbed his eyes and wondered who had gotten up early to make breakfast. He felt the other side of his bed, realized it was cold, and then assumed it was Sebastian. 

It was only as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants that he remembered that Sebastian didn't live there anymore. He was gone. Because Blaine broke up with him. Because Blaine was in love with Kurt. 

_Kurt_.

The sight of his best friend in the kitchen, flipping bread in a pan as he fried bacon in another, made his heart stop. He simply stared for as long as he could, hoping against all hope that this wasn't just a hungover fantasy and that Kurt was actually there. 

It took a bit of bacon grease flying onto Kurt and a quiet, “Shit,” for Blaine to realize that yes, Kurt was there. This was real. 

_He came back._

**2020**

_I want you._

_I love you._

_I need you._

_Please want me._

_Please love me._

_Please need me._

**2021**

“Kurt.”

Kurt turned around at the sound of his voice, a small, hesitant smile on his face. He waved at him, almost shyly.

Without a second thought, Blaine walked up to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he could. He heard Kurt inhale sharply, and then he dropped the utensils in his hands and hugged Blaine back. Blaine buried his face in Kurt's neck, inhaling his scent like he'd never done before. It was familiar, and yet unfamiliar at the same time. 

Something that had always been there but that he'd never taken the time to notice.

“I love you,” he whispered quietly against his skin. Kurt's face fell into Blaine's hair, smiling against the curls. 

“I'm sorry I left.”

“That's okay.”

“I was so overwhelmed,” Kurt's voice was still quiet, “I thought it was a joke. I thought I'd gone crazy.”

“You haven't. And it wasn't.”

“I've loved you for so long,” Kurt pressed a kiss to the top of Blaine's head. Blaine sighed and tightened his grip on Kurt's middle.

“I've tried not to love you for so long. I'm so sorry.”

Kurt pulled away slightly, only to cup Blaine's face with his hands. Warm, soft, solid, holding Blaine as if he were the most precious thing in the world, “Tell me again,” he leaned his forehead against Blaine's, “Tell me you love me again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

Blaine smiled, “I love you.”

Kurt grinned and pressed their lips together while they were still smiling, which resulted in the most perfectly imperfect second first kiss. 

**2020**

Kurt slipped out of the guy he'd just fucked (loudly, too. This guy was a total screamer). He got up to clean himself up, and when he returned to the bed he found the guy lying there, passed out. He felt his heart ache as he imagined what it would be like after sleeping with Blaine. Was he like this man? Would he fall asleep instantly? Would he pull Kurt to his chest and whisper words of praise into his skin? Would he want to be pulled into Kurt's arms instead?

Without thinking, he slipped on the other mans underwear and quietly escaped to the room beside his. He opened the door and closed it just as quickly, looking away when he saw Sebastian lying on top of Blaine, kissing him soundly on the lips. He forced himself to ignore the pain it caused him as he gave his friends some bullshit excuse as to why he was there before slipping into bed, purposefully in between them. 

Blaine looked annoyed, Sebastian looked annoyed. 

But when Blaine's arms slipped around his middle at three o'clock in the morning, pulling him close, he just couldn't find it in himself to care.

**2021**

Blaine could tell that Kurt was nervous. He wasn't quite sure how to reassure him that everything would be fine, that it wasn't like they hadn't been out alone together before, because he didn't want Kurt to feel nervous. Not around him. Never around him. 

As Kurt rambled on about something that had happened at work, Blaine reached across the table and linked his fingers with Kurt's. Kurt smiled at him softly, squeezed his hand, and mouthed 'thank you' as a waiter approached their table to take their orders. 

**2020**

Kurt knew he shouldn't be doing this. It was wrong, this was a public space and he'd never done anything this impulsive since he had snuck into Scandals and slept with Finn at sixteen. Still, there he was, bending some random guy (Kyle, he was pretty sure was his name) over the couch and pounding into him as hard and fast as he could. Fucking him until the image of Blaine and Sebastian curled up on that very couch the night before, feeding each other and exchanging sickeningly sweet smiles, was gone. 

He didn't hear the door open, but he did hear the sound of keys falling to the ground and he turned around to find Blaine staring at him, wide eyed and red in the face. 

He should stop. He needed to stop. 

He couldn't stop. 

Couldn't stop fucking some guy named Kyle over his, Blaine and Sebastian's couch as Blaine watched, eyes roaming over Kurt's body. Couldn't stop wanting to make Blaine feel just a sliver of what he'd felt all those years. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” his voice sounded foreign to himself, as if it were someone else speaking, “Or are you going to join?”

He knew Blaine would leave. Of course he would. That was how things were. Blaine was with Sebastian and Kurt fucked random guys over the couch. 

**2021**

As Kurt pressed Blaine into his bed, he suddenly understood why Kurt had been so nervous earlier. They had been kissing frantically only moments earlier, but now things were calming down slightly as Kurt slowly unbuttoned Blaine's shirt. 

Earlier, in the restaurant, Blaine knew how to deal with that. He had been on dates. He had dated a guy for twelve years. He understood romance. He had lived romance. He knew how to do romance. 

Sex was different. 

Sex was Kurt's domain. The bedroom was Kurt's domain. Blaine might have been having sex with Sebastian for over ten years, but his experience still paled in comparison to Kurt's. Kurt, who had lost track of the number of lovers he'd had. Kurt who had spent a month in sophomore year of university sleeping with a different guy every night. Kurt, who had finally managed to undo his shirt completely and was running his hand up and down Blaine's stomach. 

“Relax,” he said quietly, “We don't need to do anything.”

“I want to,” Blaine heard himself say. 

He felt like it was his first time all over again. Nervous, excited, turned on and unsure of what to do about it. Kurt grinned and leaned forward until his mouth was pressed to his ear and seductively sang, “ _Like a virgin. Touched_ ,” his hand fell to the bulge in Blaine's pants, “ _For the very first time_...”

“Are you trying to reassure me,” Blaine bit out, his breathing becoming harsh as Kurt massaged his erection, teasing his zipper slightly, “Because it's not working.”

Kurt kissed Blaine deeply, his tongue invading Blaine's mouth in the most wonderful way. Blaine sighed into it and allowed Kurt to take control. He let him remove his clothing, and he watched as Kurt did the same to himself. He let him kiss every inch of Blaine's skin. He watched him lube up his fingers and let out contented mewls as Kurt pumped his fingers in and out of him. 

He felt himself melt into the mattress when Kurt finally pushed into him. His fingers dug into Kurt's shoulders and he allowed himself to be completely taken over by the sensation of Kurt loving him and holding him and sliding in and out of him. 

It was perfect. 

It was everything. 

**2021**

“I love you.”

And the world was swept from under his feet.

  
  



End file.
